Professor Primer

You know, I'm good at making assumptions based on virtually no data whatsoever. Great at it. Let me tell you my assumptions.
Science professors (of whom I have had one) are sad, depressing people. They've been too wrapped up in their work in the name of science and they've forgotten that there can be joy in the world. That there is more to life than proteins and enzymes and proving the existence of macro evolution. In general, they're sort of unpleasant odd flippy-flip hair,
Statistics professors are all Canadian. They, unlike their science-y counterpart, are extremely cheerful, and have not been bogged down by the data they wade through day after day. While they may spend year after year teaching students the same set of rules on how to organize their data into usable tables, they still look on the bright side of life. And they will never, no matter how hard they try, teach a class later than 8:30. Because the administration knows that only morning people should be allowed to teach morning classes.
History professors are quirky and eccentric in a well put together way. They show up to class very smartly dressed, although their outfit may sometimes be better suited to past centuries, and are extremely happy about what they teach. They want the whole world to know about how the Ottoman empire fell and how ancient Anglo-Saxons influenced modern life today. It doesn't really seem to bother them that this information is relevant to absolutely nothing that anyone will do in life. Really, they're just pretty happy that anyone shows up to class.

Irks

So here's something that irks me; abnormally sized books.
I work in a library. I spend seven hours a day reshelving books. I love doing it; it's the perfect job for a college student with a dream of being a librarian and slight OCD tendencies. The problem is that last part - I love organized books. I straighten the stacks as I shelve. I make sure that the books look nice on the shelf.
But then we get to the abominable abnormally sized books. Specifically the ones that are longer than they are tall. I hate them. They don't need to be that long. No book that short needs to be that long. Stop publishing those books. No one wants them. If they want to be that long, they should be taller, so that they just look like someone used an engorgement charm. Trust me. When we put those unexpectedly abnormally sized books on our shelves, they become a danger to all the other books around them. Why? People try to push in those books. They look like they're about to fall off the shelf because they're sticking out so far. Then the books on the other side of the shelf fall off, because they've been pushed off by those incorrigible abnormally sized books. It's horrible! It's a disgrace! Despicable!

I vote for a book sale. An abnormally sized book sale of all the abnormally sized books in this library. Right the wrongs of the abnormally sized!